So here's the deal. What do you get when A) You're fighting with your significant other, B) Your mother-in-law is coming for a visit, C) You have to sit at some child you don't know's birthday party for an hour and a half and D) You have to...(gasp)...go shopping with the aforementioned not-speaking-with-each-other spouse for work clothes. Answer? The day from total and utter hell.

That's right. This day was doomed from the start. Let me not forget that the mother in law was driving the car that supposedly they've been fixing up to give us to use, the main selling point being that it has air conditioning and I live in Texas, when the current car does not. Nevermind that it's now about to be October and I doubt it'll get about 90 degrees the rest of the way out, but I digress. So the mother in law strolls in the front door....fake hugs, etc. blah blah blah. Hey, wanna come see the car? Ok. I'm normally a very open minded person. But upon seeing this masterpiece of vehicular engineering my only thought was that someone stole the fuzzy dice. And my next thought was whether or not if I went over a bump driving this thing if I'd bounce up and down for about half an hour. I'm talking Hooptyville, U.S.A. Let's not even get started on the paint job. Let's just say rust would be an improvement. But at least it's got air conditioning, right? Should be great since WINTER IS COMING!!!! Ah, screw it. Maybe tomorrow someone can come over and kick me in the nuts. I think that might be better than todays festival of joy.

So here I am following the day of hell getting ready to start my first ever graveyard shift job, staying up all night to get myself acclimated to the employment equivalent of purgatory. Maybe they'll catch a couple employees having sex in an empty hospital room again. That'd be fun. I'm not sure why poverty or growing up in the hood means you have to have as much sex and procreate as much as humanly possible. If I was around that much stupidity 24/7 the last thing I'd want to do is create more of that. I'm thinking we really need to impose the two children per family rule like they did over in China. Actually, how about zero children per family. That goes for everyone.

My man Chad got offended that I ripped on him in my last blog, so I thought I'd let you all know what a cool guy he is. Actually, just one conversation makes that point totally obvious so I really don't see how there could be any doubt. Maybe it's the women's undergarments. Hmm.

Til next time.